Friday, August 3, 2012

What Women Say And What They Really Mean…

We need – I want

It’s your decision – The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want – You’ll pay for this later
We need to talk – I need to complain
Sure… go ahead – I don’t want you to
I’m not upset – Of course I’m upset, you m*ron
You’re… so manly – You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You’re certainly attentive tonight – Is s*x all you ever think about?
I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! – I’m on my period
Be romantic, turn out the lights – I have flabby thighs
Hang the picture there – No, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise – I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? – I’m going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? – I did something today you’re really not going to like
I’ll be ready in a minute – Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? – Tell me I’m beautiful
You have to learn to communicate – Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? – [Too late, you're dead.]
Yes – No
No – No
Maybe – No
I’m sorry – You’ll be sorry
I’m not yelling! – Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
In answer to the question “What’s wrong?”
The same old thing – Nothing
Nothing – Everything
Everything – My PMS is acting up
Nothing, really – It’s just that you’re such an asshole
I don’t want to talk about it – Go away, I’m still building up evidence against you
Can’t we just be friends? – There is no way in hell I am going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again
I just need some space – … without you in it
Can you help me with my homework? – If I keep whining, the fool will do it for me
Do I look fat in this dress? – We haven’t had a fight in a while
No, pizza’s fine – Cheap bastard
I just do not want a boyfriend now – I just do not want (you as a) boyfriend
I don’t know, what do you want to do – I can’t believe that you have nothing planned
I don’t really mind where we eat – As long as it’s the place I’ve already decided on
I like you but… – I don’t like you
You never listen – You never listen
We’re moving too quickly – I am not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy in Bio has a girlfriend
I’ll be ready in a minute – I’am ready, but I am going to make you wait because I know you will
Oh Yes! Right there – Well, near there; I just want to get this over with
I’m just going out with the girls – We are gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends
There’s no one else – I am doing your brother
Size doesn’t count… – unless I want an orgasm

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