Monday, November 23, 2009

Women

Women especially love a bargain. The question of ‘need’ is irrelevant, so don’t bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.

Women never have anything to wear. Don’t question the racks of clothes in the closet; you ‘just don’t understand’.

Women need to cry. And they won’t do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That’s why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there’s a spider or a wasp involved.

Women can’t keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don’t view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

Women can’t refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she’s doing. It might be the lottery calling.

Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn’t need toys if women had an ‘on/off’ switch.

Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

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