Groom's guide to buying lingerie

Guys - let's face it. You don't know the first thing about buying a bra and panties. And it's awkward to walk into Victoria's Secret and have the staff loudly point: "Well, if you don't know her bra size, how does she compare to that sales person there?" Before fumbling around in her drawers to find her size, read GroomGroove.com's lingerie buying guide and get savvy. It's not just for wedding night - this guide will help you buy your wife lingerie at key moment in your romantic life together.

Wedding Day Lingerie
After you've said "I do," and your eyes have adjusted from all the camera flashes, you've danced until you almost dropped, and you've brushed off (almost) all of the confetti, you and your new wife will finally be alone again. This is your own private after-party, and although she may be a missus, your bride deserves to look just as amazing between the sheets as she did at the altar. But finding the perfect number for your spanking-new bride can be just as trying as picking out an engagement ring. GroomGroove.com has a few helpful hints for finding the right little garment that will be just as pleasing to her as it is for you, and won't make too much of a dent in your wedding budget.


The Bridal Shower

Grooms should know that, traditionally, the maid of honor will buy the bride an outfit for wedding night. However, this gift doesn't show up at every bridal shower. A groom whose bride has already received lingerie can save his purchase for the first night of the honeymoon or first anniversary.

"But it looked so good on Naomi Campbell..."

Yes, this is a mistake many guys will make more than once before they learn what really suits the woman who will be wearing this practically non-existent gift.

No matter how amazing that corset looks on the model (and take a second and third look to determine if it's even the corset or just Gisele wearing anything), this gift will be a huge disappointment if it turns out to be all wrong for your bide. If your fiancée's figure is similar to one of the models on the lingerie site or in the catalogue, you will have a much better shot at finding something that at least fits her well. If not, you will have to rely on your memory of the lingerie she already has and likes to determine what will work.
Does it have to be white?


Just because this is your wedding night, don't feel pressured to spring for something white and lacey if it reminds you of your grandmother's valances. (ed. - This is just as much a gift for you as it is for her). Take a look at her current lingerie collection (or at least bras and panties) and try to pick up on repeat colors. You can't go wrong with a color you know she loves. If blue is the color, this can be her "something blue"...and white hot to boot.
All women look absolutely amazing in white or black lingerie. We don't know exactly why, but all men will agree. There's something very pure about white - it's lingerie that both covers and highlights some of the best features of a woman. There's something incredibly sexy about black that makes a man just want to admire his wife. Black, of course, is also very slimming.

If you want to venture out into colors, keep in mind that some colors do better on certain hair colors. For example, blondes generally will look better in lighter colors, whereas a brunette can handle purples, darker greens or reds. Further, a redhead will do well in darker colors (and can look ravishing in brown).

Bra sizes and how to figure them out

Bra sizes are based on your girl's rib cage and bust size. A woman will likely have been properly measured if she owns several bras. Without getting into the details, the bra size (you know...34C etc.) is a combination of the size of her rib cage (band size) and the difference in size between her rib cage and bust size. That's where the number and letter combination comes from. Now, a guy is thinking, "Do I have to measure her?" The answer, mercifully, is no. Take a discreet look through the lingerie you future bride owns and make a note of all of her sizes. She may have bra sizes that are different cup sizes.

In that case, it's very easy. Ask her! And in fact, for a really sexy time, ask her which bras she really likes, and what the sizes are. Now, you may be giving away exactly why you want to know, but she'll play along anyway. Your wife will love the interest that you are taking. Read on.

Bra and Panties/Thong sizes

A sexy bra and panties set is a classic for a reason. Try to find a non-cotton comparison, if possible, so that you can most closely match the style of lingerie you'll be giving her. Most lingerie is silk, satin, lace or nylon. The sizes you're looking for are XS to XL. If you are rifling through her drawer and find several Victoria's Secret panties that are the same size, that's her size at that particular store. Lingerie sizes can vary between merchants. When in doubt, take the average size.

A Slip

No, these aren't a relic of the fifties. If your fiancée likes them, and you like her in them, slips are one of the easiest to shop for, and most comfortable to wear. You're generally looking to match her most fitted tank top of t-shirt size: XS-XL. If the slip has a built in bra or underwire, you'll need to go by her bra size
Corset and Bustier

Very daring, very Moulin Rouge. This lingerie will defy gravity. But be forewarned: sizing can be tricky. You are looking for her bust, waist and hip measurements to get the best fit. Some grooms might shy away from a corset or bustier for this reason, unless they can find a way to surreptitiously take the measurements. So, in this case, GroomGroove.com suggests that you gently ask her to get herself fitted in something really special!
If you're really unsure, you could order two or three different pieces and compare them to lingerie she already has when they arrive. You'll want to order about four to six weeks before the wedding in case you need to make returns.

How much to spend

It may seem too obvious, but look for sales. There are usually sale signs in store windows, but even if the windows are bare, ask inside if there's a sale area. It's much better to buy quality lingerie at a discounted price than cheap lingerie at full retail. (ed. -We trust the woman who wrote this guide!) Fabrics such as silk and satin tend to be pricier, but you're going to want to get something other than cotton for this occasion.



Before making your purchase, ask the store about their return policy. Chances are, she'll love the gift and she'll be way too excited by the gesture to think of turning it down, but once she's worn it, it can't be returned. If she ends up saying "well...it's the thought that counts", you'll need to know that she can at least return the gift for store credit.
Where the wild things...aren't

This is your first night as a married couple. Happiness should be at an all-time high. A leopard print bodysuit could ruin the mood if she's not into it. Go for something sexy, but safe enough to avoid any unnecessary laughter. Hopefully you know by now what she likes and what makes her look gorgeous. You can save the leopard print for your third wedding anniversary or a weekend in Maine.

A Gift from the Groom to his Bride

"Just get your ass to the church on time!" she tells you. By now, an educated groom knows that there's much more to weddings than that. Sure, you've got your tuxedo and you might have even made an appointment for your first professional shave to look your absolute best on the big day. But perhaps the most important thing of all is a gift for your true partner in crime (and in life)--your bride.

Huh???

"Hold on just a second," you might be thinking. The groom is on the hook for yet another wedding-related purchase? This might even be the first you're hearing about a gift from you to your bride-to-be, and hopefully it's not too late. Many men from a wide range of backgrounds and experiences are oblivious to this custom. Even after all the clams you've shelled out for that tux, gifts for the groomsmen, the dance lessons (that's right - dance lessons), the honeymoon and the forty-seven other things on the checklist, your bride and possibly even her more traditional mother might also be expecting you to present her with something else to help commemorate that special day. (ed. -- This wedding thing can be a total circus, we know.)

If you're lucky, your bride will think this tradition is ridiculous and would prefer you spent the money on a personal trainer for yourself (no hint there, groom.) That said, regardless of the tradition, here's what to consider.

The Tradition

First, your bride might not even know that you are "supposed" to give her a gift. Then again, if you choose to forego a gift for her, you might be getting your marriage off on the wrong foot, especially if you're about to gain a hard to please, or very traditional mother-in-law. In an interview with GroomGroove.com, recent bride, Helen M.,of New York City, was told by her mother that, traditionally, the bride should be given a pearl necklace. (Hint, Hint). Helen's groom, Stephen, said "I basically refused to succumb to the tradition because it should be my choice."

Gift-giving should be optional and a personal choice.



Grooms! Know your bride...

It seems like such a simple point: you're getting married. You know your bride, right? But if she's not a traditionally-minded bride, she might react the way recent bride, Julia D., of Ann Arbor, Michigan did. Julia readily admitted that although it might have flown in the face of tradition and it might not even seem romantic to some, her bride's gift was "way better than a silly pair of earrings". Julia and her groom were headed to Italy for their honeymoon, and her future husband gave her a leather jacket as a wedding gift. A practical gift for some, but Julia says "whenever I wear the jacket, I think about our time in Florence." In her mind, it was a perfect gift and an even better memento of their wedding and honeymoon than earrings or a necklace at the bottom of her jewelry box.

This just might be a chance to really shine, like this husband-to-be did. One groom "tracked down a valuable and nostalgic book - the same exact copy - that I sold in my leaner years to make rent" said bride Jen K., who was married in July 2007. That groom really took the time to listen to his bride-to-be. That kind of gift is the sort that can keep right on giving all the way past the wedding day and towards a very happy marriage.

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Groom speech survival guide

You will not find a cookie-cutter, fill-in-the-blank speech here. GroomGroove.com believes that a good speech needs to be original. Those kind of wedding speeches are Boring (with a capital B), are never funny and don't reflect that the groom gave a damn about the most important speech of his life. And if you're tempted to find some jokes to put into the speech, odds are that you won't like the jokes and that you won't be comfortable delivering the lines. That certainly will not help you if your goal is to get through the speech as quickly as possible. The worst part is that the audience will know that you didn't write them. With that in mind, this survival guide will: (1) give you the tools you need to write and present a good speech, (2) cover some Dos and Don'ts, and (3) provide all-important instructions on how to fight a case of nerves.
Time
Aim to have a speech that is at maximum three or four minutes in length. This may seem like a long time, but it goes by very quickly, especially if you have followed GroomGroove.com's advice and prepared the speech in a couple weeks in advance. In fact, you are going to have to force yourself to slow down! That's the good news.

Prepared Text or Bullet Points but not Off-the-Cuff
It's safest to follow a prepared text or bullet points rather than deliver something off-the-cuff. Preparing the text will keep you on message and allows you to write something that is meaningful.

If you foresee getting nervous, the easiest thing to do is to read from a prepared text. This technique will certainly keep you on message, and is a good idea for those who are terrified of public speaking. As you're reading the text, you will want to make eye contact with your audience every few words or sentences.


That means looking up from your papers to the very back of the room while speaking, and periodically making direct eye contact with individuals. The key is to look up frequently and keep speaking while doing so.
Cue Cards, Paper and other Nuts and Bolts
Put your speech on cue cards or 8.5x11 sheets. Either works, but sheets will allow you to type the speech and make edits easily. It is essential that you number your pages so as to safeguard against the unfortunate event that your sheets fall off the podium. Really awkward! Make sure that you print your speech so that the lettering is large enough to read with ease. That probably means 14-16 point font. For an extra touch, try putting the text only on the top half of your sheets, which will keep your head up as you deliver the speech. Finally, put the speech inside your jacket before you leave for the ceremony. You won't have time (nor will you want to) run back to the house to get it!
Saying Thank You
If you are the groom, your wedding day will be hectic. You may not have a great conversation with anyone, not even your roommate from college who has come all the way from Boise. Speeches allow you to make a general thank you but also connect you and special guests.
By naming all or many of the places from where people have traveled, you will be drawing a virtual map in your audience's imagination and acknowledging your friend from Boise. It's a nice touch that makes people feel special.

While it is important to thank your guests, you have to remember that you're not accepting an Oscar. You should specifically name and thank only a few key people, such as your parents, your in-laws, your best man and, of course, your bride.

Practice Makes Perfect
The most important thing you can do is to write and edit your speech a few weeks in advance, and practice the delivery. GroomGroove.com suggests doing this with a work colleague or someone who might not be at the wedding, rather than in front of a mirror. They will be able to truthfully tell you if you've made an inappropriate joke or if the speech is boring or if you speak really fast.
(See also below for practicing the speech in the room where it will be delivered as a calming technique.)

Stay calm, and nobody gets hurt
Public speaking is up there with visits to the dentist, road trips to visit inlaws or college calculus exams. If you are like most people, you avoid any situation that requires you to make speech. Fortunately, there are ways to cope with the public speaking jitters and to control your nerves.

Timing is everything
Ask the master of ceremonies when exactly your speech will be so that you can mentally prepare. You don’t want to be surprised.

Breathe
Take a few slow deep breaths before the Master of Ceremonies calls you up, as you are getting up from your seat and before you begin by saying “Good afternoon”. Rhythmic breathing will force your heart to slow down. Equally so, go slowly at first and pause between your first few sentences. For some reason, people think they are speaking slowly, where in fact they are not.
Admit you are nervous
You can calm yourself down is by admitting to your audience that you're nervous at the outset. It humanizes the experience and if done with a bit of humor you'll get a laugh which will relax you. Remember, the audience is there for the wedding and not to critique your speechmaking ability.

Practice the speech in the room, with the mic
Practicing the speech beforehand in the room where it will be delivered, with no (or little) audience has a soothing effect. If possible, it is even more calming to practice with the microphone beforehand. If this is not possible, remember to avoid fiddling with the mic at the outset unless necessary.

Did we mention preparation?
Preparation is the ultimate key to good speechmaking and calm nerves.

So, be a man, grab the bull by the horns and start planning that speech! Good luck!

Tuxedo bootcamp

The groom may feel like a prop compared to his lovely bride, but he (and his groomsmen) has still got to dress the part. And while brides have it easy because they know from the start that their wedding dress will cost a fortune and be impossible to find, it's not easy for the groom to navigate cummerbunds, bowties, ascots, morning coats and all the other foreign words associated with wedding attire for men. So let's get into it.

What the groom and groomsmen wear to the wedding depends entirely on the occasion itself and what the bride wants the groom to wear. The good news is that the bride has been visualizing her wedding for a long time, be it an ultra-formal, ultra-traditional white tie event, a morning wedding or a beach wedding. Each of these types of weddings require different wedding wear for the groom and groomsmen. Our aim is to show you that not every wedding needs to be black tie, and that even if you're doing something very traditional, there's room for a bit of creativity within the bounds of that slightly itchy, chemically-treated, rental tuxedo you're contemplating.

Of course, we begin with one the groom's duties: get his groomsmen suited up for the wedding. It's a vastly more important task than figuring out the differences between a long tie, bow tie or ascot. Why? Because it's the groom who will have to deal with "Paul", his groomsman, who's habitually late for events, forgetful, and likely to forget to bring his rented bow tie. Sound familiar? The groom will be able to ease some his bride's anxieties by learning a bit about the ins and outs of wedding attire.

* How to get the groomsmen outfitted in tuxedos, painlessly
* An intro to formal wear for the groom:
o Tuxedo Jacket
o Pants
o Shirts
o Ties
o Cufflinks
o Shoes (and socks)
o What the hell is a cummerbund and do you need one?
o Boutonnieres (aka the only flowers a groom needs to think about)
* Morning coats
* Wearing a suit instead of a tuxedo
* Whether to buy or rent a tux
* If you're buying a tux, whether to get it custom-made or off the rack tuxedo
* Beach wedding attire (you lucky bastard!)

Get fit groom

Dear Groom. You may be fit. You may be fat. But wherever you're at, everybody who is important to you is coming to the wedding, and you'll be the center of attention on your wedding day. Better to be in the best shape of your life because your friends and family will notice and wedding photos will not lie. It's time to Get Fit, Groom!

How grooms can shed a few pounds before wedding day

Whether you have one month, three months or six months to go before your wedding, you can make some great gains in terms of your body shape and ability to properly fit into your tuxedo. The pace of the program and the gains will differ depending on how much time you have.

To get trim, you need to do four things differently:

• Eat less food, every day.

• Perform cardiovascular activity at least three times per week, but only for 30 minutes of intense training.

• Strength training with weights at least twice per week concentrating on your back, chest and shoulders.

• Pick up the intensity of training. Don't take breaks.

You do not need to spend a ridiculous amount of time in the gym to see results. In fact, you should spend no more than 30-40 minutes of high intensity training. For example, hit the gym with a goal of doing ten pushups followed by five pull ups with no break in between. You will be using your core muscles (lower back and abdominals), chest and triceps to perform a pushup. You will be using your core muscles, back and biceps to perform a pullup. While pulling up, your chest takes a break.

You'd be amazed just how much eating less is critical to a groom's success in losing a few inches before wedding day. It is the most important factor. "I'm working out," grooms may think. "I can certainly go to the Olive Garden and have an extra helping of rotini ." Wrong.

Finally, why the back, chest and shoulders? These large muscle groups are likely to show the most gain. Working your biceps is pure vanity, but it's your chest, shoulders and back that will really create total buffness!

The Groom's Tuxedo

A word of advice for the prospective groom: If you embark on any fitness plan, be sure to save your tuxedo fitting until closer to your wedding day. If you get measured for a tuxedo in December, for example, and then diligently work out for the next 3 months, be prepared to have a different physique by March. You will be trimmer, your shoulders will be larger and your waist will be smaller. In short, you'll look great, but you will need to be re-fitted for your tuxedo. Granted, that is a small price to pay for a buff bod, but you can avoid all that trouble by getting fitted later on in the process.
A Groom's Diet

To keep your metabolism in high gear (which means that your body will burn calories at a rapid rate), grooms ought to eat six mini meals throughout the day, rather than "breakfast, lunch and dinner." Instead of gorging yourself on a huge chicken and pasta dinner, have a smoothie at 3pm and a smaller helping at dinnertime.

You will want to eat plenty of protein to build muscle as well as hearty portions of carbs to fuel your cardio workouts. The goal is to tailor your daily meal plan to your daily activity level so that you consume more protein on days that you strength train and more carbs on days that you cardio train.

If your body gets used to eating the same amount of calories each day, then your metabolism will slow down (i.e., becoming more efficient at using the calories you consume) and your weight loss will plateau. The worst part is that if your metabolism becomes sluggish and you go on a 3-day eating bender, then your body won't know how to burn the excess calories that you have consumed. The result: Your body will store the calories as fat.

But weight loss isn't just about caloric intake, it's about the quality of the food you eat, as well. Our bodies are not made to digest hydrogenated oils, "FD&C Yellow #5" or any other man-made food substances. As a general rule you should try to avoid foods that are overly processed.

Where we met...

We met in a cafe-bar called Havana. Almost every day after we met, for more than two years, we went there. It became our place. People knew us , so we could go there at 8 a.m. and be welcome. Then came a time when we changed our place. I don`t know why we stopped going to Havana. After 4 years, today be came back. I had butterflies in my stomach. The place was the same, we were the same but married, now. It was just like I turned back time, but then I looked at my wedding ring. Yeap, it's real, we are married!

Have a great bachelor party...with the in-laws

Picture it: Surprise, Surprise - you were "kidnapped" by your best man and have arrived at the previously undisclosed location of your bachelor party. You meet up at the hotel with your best buddies from high school, college and work. You're ready to hit the town. You crack open a beer, relax on the sofa and who walks in? Your FATHER-IN-LAW and BROTHER-IN-LAW to be. Can you still have a great time with these spies watching your every move? GroomGroove.com and Montreal VIP have some tips for you.

Have a Plan

First and foremost, get rid of that "deer in the headlights" look you've got. It is going to be ok. As soon as you know that guys from your fiancée's family will attend your bachelor party, discuss a plan with the organizer to maximize comfort, if they haven't thought of this already. Consult your best man and other groomsmen. Ideally, they will have split the bachelor party into two distinct flavors, just like salsa: Mild, and Hot.

Mild- The Steak Dinner

Chances are, your evening will start with a decent meal. Dinner at almost any bachelor party will be fairly tame, and for your sake, you may want to make sure that this is the case. Take this opportunity over dinner to connect with your future in-laws. They will understand that this is your day and that you're going to indulge a little. You certainly don't need to tell them that. To be on the safe side, pace yourself during the first leg of the journey because with a good bachelor party, there's always more to come. Your future in-laws may shake your hand and call it night after dinner. Unless you happen to be very close with them, and feel entirely comfortable, this would be the ideal scenario. Worst-case scenario, you'll have to go with the flow.

Hot - A Lap Dance or Three

If there is a trip to a gentleman's club planned for later, you'll want to know about it. If your future brother and/or father-in-law decide to join you for the hot portion of the evening, while you don't need to warn them, somebody has to do it. A great candidate for that task is your best man. He should have a chat with the guys to lay out where you are going, and, above all, to state the obvious: that what happens at your bachelor party, stays at your bachelor party. Her Majesty will never hear a word about it. At the club, it will be impossible to escape the attention if scores of friends are pointing to you and announcing to the world that this is your last night as free man. However, it's your night out. Put on your blinders, and party.

When the Party Winds Down

If your future in-laws attend, you will likely feel a bit restricted as to what you can say and do at your bachelor party. If you think about it, that may not be such a bad thing. Because of their presence, you might dodge such cringe-worthy traditions such as having choice phrases scrawled across your flesh with permanent marker, or waking up in a pool of sweat and a dress. That's reason enough to welcome your soon-to-be dad and brother into this fraternal fiesta.

The Secret to Success
Montreal VIP and GroomGroove.com believe the secret to enjoying your last night out as a free man is to plan ahead. Whether you have a role in the planning of the party or you're just innocent victim of a kidnapping courtesy of your best man, there's nothing wrong with covering all the bases with the organizers. You'll feel more at ease and your future in-laws will feel comfortable as well. Above all else, you are the guest of honor and are duty-bound to have a great time. Plan on it!

Bachelor party guide for grooms

You're the groom facing the prospect of being roasted by your closest friends and family members. You probably have vague memories of tormenting your best friend at his bachelor party. (What was it that you wrote in permanent marker on his chest?) Whether you're pumped about a night on the town with the boys, or trembling in your boots at the thought of surviving your bachelor party, this guide is for you.
Who's in Charge?

Usually, the task of organizing the bachelor party falls to the best man. While you, as the groom, should be involved to some extent, you shouldn't have to do the bulk of the organization. After all, the whole point of the bachelor party is to show you a good time, not to test your planning skills. Aside from putting the whole shindig together, the best man is responsible for ensuring that you don't do anything that will jeopardize your impending nuptials. Whenever there is a combination of guys and alcohol, peer pressure comes back like a high school ex-girlfriend, so the best man needs to be on the ball to make sure you don't do anything too crazy. As if that's not enough, the best man is also in charge of making sure everyone is included and having a great time. It's a lot of responsibility, but it doesn't mean the best man can't have fun, too. After all, it is a party.
When to have it?

In the Spring or Summer. On a Leap Day or a Sunday or cold Tuesday in January. Any day at all, but under no circumstances will you allow your bachelor party be held the night before your wedding. Typically, the bachelor party is held 2-3 months in advance or on the Thursday night prior to a Saturday wedding.

Mild versus Wild

Long before the bachelor party, the groom and the best man should take some time to discuss the tone. With this guide, you, as groom, are merely along for the ride. Defining the tone in advance is important since it will not be possible to do so on the night of. At the end of the party, you want a party that's going to be a blast for you and keep you out of the dog house with Her Majesty. Keeping in mind that your best man isn't likely to know all of the attendees, setting the tone will also help the best man give guests a heads-up in terms of what to expect.

A mild bachelor party and wild bachelor party are likely to start out the same. While your day may involve a poker tournament, golf or go-carts, you and the boys will invariably go out for a nice dinner. (FYI: Luckily for you, the groom never pays for himself.) What happens after dinner distinguishes this bachelor party from any other. We're going to leave it to your imagination. GroomGroove.com provides information here on planning a bachelor party for your best man.
The Guests

You and the best man should also sit down and hash out the guest list. As a general rule, twenty is a good number. Anything more than that, and it will be too difficult to control if things get out of hand.

One of the easiest ways to coordinate the bachelor party is with an E-vite. That way, the best man can let everyone know what's on the agenda for the party. E-vites also help the best man keep track of who will be attending and print out the guest list, a vital, but often overlooked item.
Keeping Costs in Line

No matter where your bachelor party takes place, you've got to keep in mind that not all of the attendees will be able to drop cash on a bottle service if they've forked over money to the airline just to attend. The same goes for golf, dinner, hotels and whatever else your best man has got planned. If he's a spendthrift, don't expect everyone else to be.

A good way to cover the costs associated with the bachelor party is to sell tickets to the guests. Not only does this help pay for the event, but it also gives the guests an idea of what they can expect to spend for the evening or weekend. The price of the ticket should pay for some activities (e.g., a round of golf or admission to a club) and a meal. However, guests should be responsible for covering the cost of their own drinks.

You're the Groom, Get a Room!


Whether you are having a mild or wild bachelor party, GroomGroove.com highly recommends that you not return to your actual home after the late partying. Spend an extra $200 and get a room. The next morning you can convalesce on your own, without having to worry about what your bride will think. It's a critical but often overlooked piece of advice.
Speaking of the Bride...

Nothing will ruin a wild bachelor party like loose-lips Larry blabbing all about it to his girlfriend who is best friends with your bride. What happens at the wild bachelor party stays etched in memory alone. It's an unspoken rule. And even if she wants to know, don't you dare tell her a damned thing about how it all went down. She's only looking to feel jealous.
Being a Good Sport

One of the best parts of planning a bachelor party is keeping the groom in the dark about some of it. Once the best man and the groom have laid out the ground rules for the night, the best man will feel free to plan some surprises within that framework. You didn't specifically say that you won't dress in drag and beg hot chicks for smooches? Too bad for you. You need to be ready to dive in and roll with any surprises that come your way. Grooms need to be good sports. A good bachelor party is as much a roast as a celebration.

Staying Out of the Doghouse

GroomGroove.com has heard more than its share of stories about drunken grooms stumbling home to their bride, or worse, their future mother-in-law. A good best man will have a plan laid out to prevent a situation that could best be described as "awkward." That said, you are a man. If there is something that you don't feel comfortable with, you should express it to the best man in advance of the bachelor party. And if the situation arises during the bachelor party itself, there is nothing wrong with passing off the "fun" to another of your friends.
In Sum

You're only going to get one shot at having a bachelor party. Get ready for the ride!

Choosing your groomsmen

The Usual Suspects
Picking the groomsmen can be more difficult, even though you have several slots open. This is because guys tend to have a group of really awesome friends from high school, college or work. However, if you're unfamiliar with wedding etiquette, here are the "usual" rules for including groomsmen in your wedding party:

Your Family

No matter what your family or friends say, there aren't people who "must" be in the wedding party. Be sure to pick buddies you're close with - not guys you feel obligated to ask. If you loved beating up your brother, but he's not your "best man", don't let your mother force your hand. However, family typically comes first when it comes to the groomsmen. Unless there are some unusual circumstances involved (such as, for example, you aren't on speaking terms), if you have brothers, they're in the wedding party. That's one slot down, a few more to go.

Her Family

The same goes for her brothers. The two of you are going to be family soon, and including her brothers is a great way to start things off. This should be based on mutual agreement with your fiancee. If she is trying to force your hand and by picking her slightly annoying and boring brother, you are within your rights to ask Bridezilla to back off. It can be more challenging if your bride has two brothers who are equally qualified to be groomsmen. GroomGroove.com suggests that you either pick neither of them, or leave it for your bride to figure it out. There is no point in starting off on the wrong foot.
Closest Friends

Your closest friends are great choices. But, remember, they have to be responsible guys. Just because you love to go out drinking with a guy on a Friday night doesn't mean he can handle the responsibility of being in the wedding party. He might be a great guy, but if he's going to show up late to the tuxedo fitting session, he's going to be a pain to keep in line. Let's face it: some guys just aren't wedding party material. If the first image that pops into your head when you think of a guy is him passed out and covered in permanent marker, he's probably not the right guy for the job.

Great Expectations
When you begin asking your friends to stand up in your wedding, be sure to explain what is expected of them, and importantly, how much it is going to cost.

The basics include:

* Travel and accommodations
* Attending the rehearsal and dinner
* Renting tuxedo and shoes and attending tuxedo fittings (or buying a suit and tie)
* Planning and attending the bachelor party
* Seating guests at the wedding
* Walking down the aisle with a bridesmaid (maybe)
* Dancing with same bridesmaid
* Wedding gift (unspoken requirement, of course!)

If this is manageable for your buds, then you're in business.
A Short Word About Wedding Costs

Weddings can be expensive affairs. You need to keep in mind that not everybody in your wedding party will have the financial means to buy a brand new suit with matching navy blue tie that you've picked out. Further, if a groomsman (and his wife and kids) are flying in from California and staying at a hotel, these costs add up. You are likely to be asking your groomsmen to shell out at least $250, not including transportation.

And Finally...

At the end of a smooth flight with a smooth landing, a cabin full of passengers will sometimes applaud. If you choose the right co-pilot and crew for your wedding, that allows you to focus on what you need to do to reach that altar, expect applause at the end of this flight.