The purpose of inviting guests was to have them witness a couple's marriage ceremony and vows and to share in the bride and groom's joy and celebration. Gifts for the bride and groom are optional, although most guests attempt to give at least a token gift of their best wishes. Some brides and grooms and families feel, contrary to proper etiquette, that for the expense and effort they put into showing their guests a good time and to wine and dine them, the guests should reciprocate by providing nice gifts or cash.
The couple often registers for gifts at a store well in advance of their wedding. This allows them to create a list of household items, usually including china, silverware and crystalware; often including linen preferences, pots and pans, and similar items. With brides and grooms who might already be independent and have lived on their own, even owning their own homes, they sometimes register at hardware or home improvement stores. Registries are intended to make it easy for guests who wish to purchase gifts to feel comfortable that they are purchasing gifts that the newlyweds will truly utilize. The registry information should, according to etiquette, be provided only to guests who request it, and should never be included in the invitation. Some couples register with services that enable money gifts intended to fund items such as a honeymoon, home purchase or college fund.
Some guests may find bridal registries inappropriate. They can be seen as an anathema to traditional notions behind gift buying, such as contravening the belief that all gifts are optional and should be taken as delightful surprises, taking away the element of surprise, and leading to present buying as a type of competition, as the couple knows the costs of each individual item. Etiquette considers it inappropriate to invite people who know neither the bride nor groom well enough to be able to choose an appropriate gift.
Many believe a false etiquette myth that thanks for gifts may occur up to a year after the ceremony. Gifts however, though optional, may be sent up to a year after the wedding date. Thanks should be sent as soon as possible, preferably within two weeks. Extra time can understandably be given for gifts received just after the ceremony, while the couple is honeymooning. While receiving an invitation does not require that a gift be given, etiquette dictates that all wedding invitations be returned with at least congratulations.
