Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Today...car accident...
Fuckin` drunk jerk!!!! Hope you run into and die in the first pillar you meet in your way!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
I will always remember....
Brittany Murphy died early this morning after she went into full cardiac arrest and could not be revived, multiple sources tell TMZ.
She was 32.
A 911 call was made at 8:00 AM from a home in Los Angeles that is listed as belonging to her husband, Simon Monjack, the Los Angeles City Fire Department tells TMZ.
We're told Murphy was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center where she was pronounced dead on arrival. Her time of death was listed as 10:04 AM.
Murphy starred in such films as "Clueless," "8 Mile," and "Don't Say a Word." Murphy was reportedly fired from last film, "The Caller," after reports she was problematic on set.
UPDATE 3:11 PM ET -- Sources tell TMZ Brittany Murphy's mom discovered her unconscious in the shower. We're told when paramedics arrived, they quickly determined Murphy was in full cardiac arrest and immediately administered CPR. They continued CPR in route to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center -- several miles away -- and Murphy was unresponsive. She was pronounced dead at the hospital.
We're told the LA County Coroner's is picking up Murphy's body from Cedars later today and will launch a death investigation.
UPDATE 4:00 PM ET -- We're also told the LAPD has launched a death investigation.
UPDATE 4:07 PM ET -- A rep for Murphy tells TMZ, "In this time of sadness, the family thanks you for your love and support. It is their wish that you respect their privacy."
UPDATE 5:21 PM ET -- Two LAPD officers were just spotted going into Murphy's home.
UPDATE 5:34 PM ET -- A neighbor of Brittany's tells TMZ she saw Brittany getting taken out on a stretcher with paramedics performing CPR. The neighbor said Brittany "looked dead."
Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2009/12/20/brittany-murphy-dies-cardiac-arrest/#ixzz0aL8HqmUB
Friday, December 11, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Marriage Quote
MARRIAGE – It’s an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
Happy 1st December!
Stay at home - no work today at the office but repair the pipe at home, pay bills, watch a movie...
Just another happy 1st December 2009!
Just another happy 1st December 2009!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Women
Women especially love a bargain. The question of ‘need’ is irrelevant, so don’t bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
Women never have anything to wear. Don’t question the racks of clothes in the closet; you ‘just don’t understand’.
Women need to cry. And they won’t do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That’s why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there’s a spider or a wasp involved.
Women can’t keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don’t view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.
Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
Women can’t refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she’s doing. It might be the lottery calling.
Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn’t need toys if women had an ‘on/off’ switch.
Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
Women never have anything to wear. Don’t question the racks of clothes in the closet; you ‘just don’t understand’.
Women need to cry. And they won’t do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That’s why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there’s a spider or a wasp involved.
Women can’t keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don’t view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.
Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
Women can’t refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she’s doing. It might be the lottery calling.
Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn’t need toys if women had an ‘on/off’ switch.
Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
Friday, November 20, 2009
In the world, one single rule applies to the men: make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
Simple Duties
You make the bed (+1)
- You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
- You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
- In the rain (+8)
- But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
- You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
- You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
- You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
- It’s her pet (-10)
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
- You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
- Named Tina (-4)
- Tina is a dancer (-10)
Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner (0)
- You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)
- Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)
- And it’s all-you-can-eat night (-3)
- It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
A Night Out
You take her to a movie (+2)
- You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
- You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
- You take her to a movie you like (-2)
- It’s called ‘DeathCop’ (-3)
- You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
Your Physique
- You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
- You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
- You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
- You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000)
Enjoy The Big Question
She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
- You hesitate in responding (-10)
- You reply, “Where?” (-35)
- Any other response (-20)
Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
- You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
- You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
- She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Here is a guide to the point system:
Simple Duties
You make the bed (+1)
- You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
- You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
- In the rain (+8)
- But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
- You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
- You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
- You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
- It’s her pet (-10)
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
- You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
- Named Tina (-4)
- Tina is a dancer (-10)
Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner (0)
- You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)
- Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)
- And it’s all-you-can-eat night (-3)
- It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
A Night Out
You take her to a movie (+2)
- You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
- You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
- You take her to a movie you like (-2)
- It’s called ‘DeathCop’ (-3)
- You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
Your Physique
- You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
- You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
- You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
- You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000)
Enjoy The Big Question
She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
- You hesitate in responding (-10)
- You reply, “Where?” (-35)
- Any other response (-20)
Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
- You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
- You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
- She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Marriage Quotes
There was a man who said, “I never knew what happiness was until I got married… and then it was too late!”
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.
A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend’s girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal.
There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she’s really attractive.
Bruce Friedman
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Marvin Kitman
A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.
A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
A husband is what’s left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Helen Rowland
Many a wife thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.
Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give.
Cass Daley
Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute.
Marriage is a rest period between romances.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno.
Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo…
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.
A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend’s girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal.
There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she’s really attractive.
Bruce Friedman
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Marvin Kitman
A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.
A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
A husband is what’s left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Helen Rowland
Many a wife thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.
Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give.
Cass Daley
Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute.
Marriage is a rest period between romances.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno.
Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo…
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.
Cosmopolitan by man
Intrebare: Sotul meu si-ar dori o partida de s*x in trei impreuna cu mine si cu prietena mea cea mai buna. Ce sa fac?
Raspuns: Este evident ca sotul nu se mai satura de dumneavoastra. Nici nu se pune in discutie ca va confruntati cu o problema de cuplu. Din contra, aceasta experienta va poate apropia si mai mult. De ce sa nu implicati si niste colege de camera, pe langa prietena dumneavoastra? Si, daca vreti intr-adevar ca relatia dumneavoastra sa decurga excelent, retrageti-va si lasati-va prietenele singure cu sotul. Daca nu sunteti sigura ca e bine sa actionati astfel, sfatul meu este sa-i faceti barbatului dumneavoastra un s*x oral dupa care sa gatiti o masa gustoasa!
Intrebare: Sotul meu imi cere tot timpul sa-i fac s*x oral! Ce sa fac?
Raspuns: Faceti ce va cere! Va poate ajuta sa slabiti, iar pielea dumneavoastra va capata un luciu aparte. Barbatii stiu asta si de aia cer. In realitate, vor sa le faca bine partenerelor. Este o dovada de dragoste! Cel mai bun sfat pe care pot sa vi-l dau este sa faceti s*x oral partenerului de doua ori pe zi, pentru a va mentine in forma, dupa care, gatiti-i o masa gustoasa!
Intrebare: Sotul meu petrece prea multe nopti cu prietenii sai! Ce sa fac?
Raspuns: Acest comportament este foarte natural si ar trebui incurajat. Barbatul este un vanator si e nevoie sa-si dovedeasca priceperea in fata altor masculi. O noapte departe de casa, in compania fetelor necunoscute, il elibereaza complet de stres astfel ca se intoarce acasa mai fericit si mai relaxat. Nu uitati: nimic nu intareste mai tare o relatie decat faptul ca barbatul este plecat una-doua zile pe saptamana departe de casa. Puteti sa profitati de acest timp si sa faceti o curatenie generala! Veti fi uimita ce fericit si dragastos va fi cand se va intoarce acasa. Ca sa-l surprindeti in mod placut, chemati-va o prietena si faceti-i amandoua un s*x oral, dupa care gatiti o masa gustoasa!
Intrebare: Sotul meu nu stie unde e cl*torisul meu. Ce sa fac?
Raspuns: Cl*torisul dumneavoastra nu este problema sotului! Sfatul meu este sa va ocupati singura de aceasta zona si sa chemati o prietena sa va ajute. Puteti sa va filmati si sa-i faceti cadou caseta sotului, de ziua lui. Pentru a scapa de remuscarile ca ati fost egoista, faceti-i un s*x oral si gatiti o masa gustoasa!
Intrebare: Sotul meu sare mereu peste preludiu. Ce sa fac?
Raspuns: Sunteti o persoana insensibila ca ati adus in discutie o astfel de tema. Acest subiect este foarte stresant pentru barbati si consuma foarte mult timp. S*xul ar trebui sa fie disponibil oricand pentru sotul dumneavoastra, fara preludiu. Sunteti foarte egoista si faptul ca vreti preludiu dovedeste ca nu va iubiti partenerul suficient. Daca l-ati iubi, nu ati avea nevoie de preludiu pentru a va excita. Ar fi bine sa-l rasplatiti pe barbatul dumneavoastra cu un s*x oral si cu o masa gustoasa!
Intrebare: Sotul meu are intotdeauna orgasm inaintea mea dupa care adoarme. Ce sa fac?
Raspuns: Nu inteleg unde este problema. Probabil ca ati uitat sa-i gatiti o masa gustoasa!
from here
Raspuns: Este evident ca sotul nu se mai satura de dumneavoastra. Nici nu se pune in discutie ca va confruntati cu o problema de cuplu. Din contra, aceasta experienta va poate apropia si mai mult. De ce sa nu implicati si niste colege de camera, pe langa prietena dumneavoastra? Si, daca vreti intr-adevar ca relatia dumneavoastra sa decurga excelent, retrageti-va si lasati-va prietenele singure cu sotul. Daca nu sunteti sigura ca e bine sa actionati astfel, sfatul meu este sa-i faceti barbatului dumneavoastra un s*x oral dupa care sa gatiti o masa gustoasa!
Intrebare: Sotul meu imi cere tot timpul sa-i fac s*x oral! Ce sa fac?
Raspuns: Faceti ce va cere! Va poate ajuta sa slabiti, iar pielea dumneavoastra va capata un luciu aparte. Barbatii stiu asta si de aia cer. In realitate, vor sa le faca bine partenerelor. Este o dovada de dragoste! Cel mai bun sfat pe care pot sa vi-l dau este sa faceti s*x oral partenerului de doua ori pe zi, pentru a va mentine in forma, dupa care, gatiti-i o masa gustoasa!
Intrebare: Sotul meu petrece prea multe nopti cu prietenii sai! Ce sa fac?
Raspuns: Acest comportament este foarte natural si ar trebui incurajat. Barbatul este un vanator si e nevoie sa-si dovedeasca priceperea in fata altor masculi. O noapte departe de casa, in compania fetelor necunoscute, il elibereaza complet de stres astfel ca se intoarce acasa mai fericit si mai relaxat. Nu uitati: nimic nu intareste mai tare o relatie decat faptul ca barbatul este plecat una-doua zile pe saptamana departe de casa. Puteti sa profitati de acest timp si sa faceti o curatenie generala! Veti fi uimita ce fericit si dragastos va fi cand se va intoarce acasa. Ca sa-l surprindeti in mod placut, chemati-va o prietena si faceti-i amandoua un s*x oral, dupa care gatiti o masa gustoasa!
Intrebare: Sotul meu nu stie unde e cl*torisul meu. Ce sa fac?
Raspuns: Cl*torisul dumneavoastra nu este problema sotului! Sfatul meu este sa va ocupati singura de aceasta zona si sa chemati o prietena sa va ajute. Puteti sa va filmati si sa-i faceti cadou caseta sotului, de ziua lui. Pentru a scapa de remuscarile ca ati fost egoista, faceti-i un s*x oral si gatiti o masa gustoasa!
Intrebare: Sotul meu sare mereu peste preludiu. Ce sa fac?
Raspuns: Sunteti o persoana insensibila ca ati adus in discutie o astfel de tema. Acest subiect este foarte stresant pentru barbati si consuma foarte mult timp. S*xul ar trebui sa fie disponibil oricand pentru sotul dumneavoastra, fara preludiu. Sunteti foarte egoista si faptul ca vreti preludiu dovedeste ca nu va iubiti partenerul suficient. Daca l-ati iubi, nu ati avea nevoie de preludiu pentru a va excita. Ar fi bine sa-l rasplatiti pe barbatul dumneavoastra cu un s*x oral si cu o masa gustoasa!
Intrebare: Sotul meu are intotdeauna orgasm inaintea mea dupa care adoarme. Ce sa fac?
Raspuns: Nu inteleg unde este problema. Probabil ca ati uitat sa-i gatiti o masa gustoasa!
from here
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
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